Anger is the one emotion that is socially “acceptable” for men to feel. Men often feel like if they express anything else, they’ll be seen as “girly” or “not manly enough. ” Most men don’t mask their emotions on purpose; rather, they’ve learned to do it through societal pressures and expectations.
For example, if you’re having a conversation about your relationship, your partner might have trouble expressing what you mean to him. This can be hard to hear, but it’s probably because he’s not used to talking about his feelings. Your partner may express his feelings in other ways, though. If he brings you flowers or cooks you your favorite dinner, he might be trying to express his love for you without saying it directly.
Mindfulness practices, like meditation and yoga, can help him work through his emotions in a healthy way. You could try doing these activities together so he doesn’t feel alone. If you two are struggling to communicate about your emotions, try holding a weekly check-in where you talk about any issues in the relationship. This also means that he might need more time to process his emotions. If he says he needs space or to give him time, you should respect his wishes.
This could look like him taking longer hours at work, drinking more alcohol, spending more time away from home, or behaving recklessly. The best thing to do is to let him know that you’re here to talk whenever he’s ready. If you try to force him to open up to you, he could withdraw even further. This is especially common after an emotional ordeal, like the loss of a loved one.
It’s great for men to have an outlet to express their feelings, especially positive ones. You should try to encourage him to be excited and happy whenever he can be. If you want to join in, you should! Try watching his sports team play their rival or learn how to play a two-player video game together.
Try saying something like, “Hey, do you need help looking for your keys? I think I saw them on the table yesterday. ” Or, “Did you get a chance to call your doctor? I can find the phone number for you if you need it. ” Men may also find it hard to accept your help, even if they really need it. You can continue to offer your assistance gently but firmly so they know that you’re here if you need them.
For example, you could say, “I’m gonna tell you a story now, but I don’t need advice. I just need to talk it through with someone. ” Trying to solve everyone’s problems can be exhausting, so it’s not good for him, either!
While it is true that men statistically have higher sex drives than women, it’s not a guarantee across the board. Every man is different, and your partner’s libido could be higher than yours, lower than yours, or about the same. Stress, mental health issues, and being tired can all lower a man’s libido, too.
Commitment issues can be frustrating, especially if you’re the one he won’t commit to. If you’re looking for a serious relationship and he isn’t, it may be time to move on to someone else. Older men can have commitment issues too, it’s just less common.
He should also help you with the “mental load,” like remembering special occasions, tracking family needs, and making shopping lists. This is a great way to avoid resentment in the future.
