It’s totally fine for people to have passwords on their phones (in fact, it’s safer to have one than not). However, if he’s super secretive about it, he might be hiding something.
The same thing goes for his computer—if he exits out of tabs as soon as you walk in, he’s probably hiding something from you.
Of course, he might actually just be texting a friend who is going through a tough time right now. If that’s the case, he should have no trouble telling you who it is and what they’re talking about.
He might also turn his phone face down before he leaves the room. This is to prevent you from seeing any notifications that might pop up while he’s gone. Keep in mind that it’s normal for people to lock their phones, even if they have nothing to hide (think about how often you lock your phone before you set it down or leave the room). The problem arises when he’s doing it obsessively, especially around you.
If you call him out for angling away from you, he’ll probably insist he was just getting comfortable.
Keep in mind, though, that some people just like to free up their storage by deleting messages periodically.
However, if he’s using his phone for something (like listening to music while in the shower), try not to worry about it.
He might also insist on doing stuff on his phone himself, even when it’s inconvenient (like when he’s driving). Healthy relationship boundaries usually don’t include partners going through each other’s phones, so you shouldn’t expect to be able to scroll through his socials or his messages whenever you want. [9] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
This is a classic manipulation tactic that a lot of people use to get out of trouble. While it may be true that you invaded his privacy, it doesn’t negate the fact that he was doing something wrong.
You can bring it up by saying something like, “Could we talk? I’ve noticed that you’re on your phone a lot more lately and I’m starting to feel a little weird about it. ”
