For instance, say something like, “What’s your favorite position?” or “Would you like me to go down on you?” You can also ask her questions while you’re in the act. For example, say things like, “Does that feel good?” or “Should I slow down?” Or, ask her to show you what she likes (for example, by having her guide your hand while you touch her). Remember, what she’s in the mood for might change from one time to the next. Even if you’ve had great sex before, don’t assume she’ll want to do the same things she did last time!

Foreplay doesn’t necessarily have to go on for ages. Even just a few minutes can be enough to get you both warmed up and ready to go. Foreplay helps stimulate the vagina to secrete a natural lubricant, which can make sex a lot more comfortable and pleasurable for both of you. Sometimes, though, it’s not enough. Ask her if she’d like to use some lube—you can make it part of the foreplay. [3] X Research source

For instance, she might like you to touch her breasts, kiss her neck, or rub her feet. Experiment with different types of touch in different areas. For example, she might like firm pressure in some areas and light strokes in others. Remember, keep asking her what she likes and doesn’t like. She can point you in the right direction!

Talk about what you’re doing with her right now—or what you’d like to do. Praise her body and tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. Describe a naughty fantasy, or talk about some memorable sex you’ve had with her in the past.

If one position isn’t working for you, you can always switch it up. There’s no need to stick to one position for an entire session in the sheets. Say things like, “You want to take a turn being on top?” or “Try putting your legs up on my shoulders. ” Vary your pace and rhythm, too—let her be your guide to what works in the moment. You can ask her things like, “Is it okay if I go a little faster and harder?” You can also try having sex in different places. Go at it on the couch, in the shower, or even on a desk or table.

Oral sex. She might prefer being either the giver or the receiver. If she likes both, give her the best of both worlds by doing the 69. Touching each other or watching each other pleasure yourselves. This kind of sex can involve external touching (e. g. , rubbing her clitoris or touching the outside of her vagina) or internal (e. g. , inserting your fingers or a toy into her vagina or anus). Using dildos, vibrators, or other toys. Grinding or rubbing up against each other (sometimes called frottage or “dry humping”), with or without your clothes on.

When it comes to fantasies, you’re only limited by your imagination. It’s an opportunity to try out taboo scenarios that you might not do in real life (for example, picking up a stranger at a bar or having sex in front of other people). Some women enjoy watching porn with their partner before or during sex, which can help stimulate your imaginations and make the fantasy feel more real. [9] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source

Sex toys are safe if you use them correctly, but good hygiene is important. Always wash your toys with soap and warm water before and after using them. If you plan to put a toy inside your partner’s body (or your own), putting a condom on it first can also reduce the risk of infections.

Alternatively, the two of you can get into the shower together! Getting cleaned off together is a fun and intimate way to relax after sex—and it could even lead to more sex.

If you can’t see each other, use your words and tone of voice to set the mood. For example, you might describe what you’re wearing, what you’re doing, and how you’d be touching her if she were there. Feel free to sigh, moan, or breathe heavily. For video calls, treat it like an in-person date: clean up the space she’ll be seeing on the screen, create some soft mood lighting, and dress (or undress!) to impress. If you’re doing video chat, stick to an encrypted app, like Signal or FaceTime, so nobody else can look or listen in on the action without your knowledge. [13] X Research source