Instead of thinking, “I always feel awful after talking with Jen,” think something like “Jen may not be fun to talk to, but I won’t let that conversation ruin my day. ” You might also think “Today is going to be a great day” or “I know that no matter what happens today, my friends and family have my back. ”
For example, if someone like your roommate is an energy vampire, spend as little time around them as you possibly can.
You might say, “Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m behind on some assignments” or “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so I’m not up for a long chat right now. ” You might agree to have lunch with a toxic friend or relative for 1 hour instead of leaving the outing open-ended.
You might say, “I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated, but complaining isn’t going to solve anything. ” You could also say, “I’m sorry you’re having a rough day, but I have a lot of work to do and don’t have time to sit here with you. ”
For instance, you might take a different route to class so you don’t bump into a toxic, constantly complaining peer. You could sit or work further away from a negative colleague so you won’t be distracted at work. It’s not always possible to avoid negative people, but you can still try to keep your distance.
After a tough day at work, you might go out for drinks with some friends. Good friends won’t judge you and will support you unconditionally. You’ll feel happy and content when you’re around them, instead of emotionally drained. [8] X Research source
For example, you might take a deep breath or excuse yourself from the room.
