“What do I do that makes you feel loved?” “How do you want me to express my love?” “What can I do to make you feel more loved on a daily basis?”
You might ask them by saying, “How do you want to feel this weekend?” or, “What vibes are we going for on your birthday?” You can also ask how your partner’s family shows love to get an idea of what their used to. Say something like, “What did your parents do growing up that made you feel loved?” If their family showed love with praise, try praising them more often.
It might even be helpful to write down what they’re saying so you really lock it into your brain.
If you aren’t super good at saying your thoughts out loud, try writing them down or sending them in a text instead. It’s the actual content that counts!
Your partner might also appreciate homemade gifts or something that shows you were thinking about them when they weren’t around.
You could also pat them on the arm, rub their back, or give them a foot massage.
You might also do things that your partner really hates. For instance, if they can’t stand doing the laundry but you don’t mind it, show your love by taking over that chore.
Oftentimes, people spend a lot of time with their partner, but it isn’t quality time. Make sure you actually connect with each other and talk about things besides chores, kids, or responsibilities.
Or, maybe you really like it when your partner gets specific about the reasons why they love you. That means you probably like words of affirmation. Say something like, “I really love it when you give me a long hug or grab my hand in public. It makes me feel like you really care, and it makes me feel closer to you. ”
You might say something like, “This week I really made an effort to communicate my love with words. How do you feel?”
