Even though you’re looking for a dominant boyfriend, it’s also always a good idea to have a few friends who can offer you support. Use Fetlife to meet other submissives, and look out for one another in your search for a partner. Be careful when getting into online communities, especially if you’re new to the dom/sub experience. Some people might try to take advantage of you, but you’ll be okay as long as you’re cautious and stick to your boundaries!
Other solid kink dating apps include KinkD, #open, Kinkoo, and Whiplr. Search around and pick one that fits your needs the best! Once you connect with someone, flirt a little to find out what they’re into. Break the ice, and then send them a link to your Fetlife profile to see if they like the same things you do. Ask a friend of the opposite sex to take a look at your profile and see how it sounds. They might have some tips for how you can improve it. [3] X Expert Source Lisa ShieldDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
Even if you only meet friends at a munch, they can introduce you to their friends, and you might just meet your future boyfriend that way. As always, be careful about giving away information to strangers. Get to know the people you meet and let them earn your trust.
Try meeting up for coffee at your favorite cafe or having dinner together. If you’re nervous (which is totally natural), go somewhere that makes you feel comfortable and calm. It’s rarely safe or healthy to start having private meetings and getting intimate right away.
It’s okay to be nervous when talking about kinks. However, they’re perfectly normal and usually an important part of your sex life. Be brave and tell your guy what you like. [6] X Research source Use your best judgment to determine when to bring up your preferences. There’s no “perfect” time, so wait for a moment that feels right. Your date may send signals. If his online profile mentions his own sexual preferences, you can talk about yours sooner. If he seems to be taking it slowly between you, wait until he’s ready.
Communication is vital for any relationship, especially with dominant and submissive partners, so be honest and transparent with him. [7] X Research source Once together, dominant and submissive partners make their own “rules” about how their dynamic will work, but there’s no protocol right off the bat. Simple kindness and courtesy are all you need to make an excellent first impression.
Take some time to research BDSM and find your comfort zone. Know what you want before you look for a dominant boyfriend so that you can easily find a compatible partner. Once you have your boundaries, you can quickly and clearly say “no” to anyone who tries to cross them.
A good guy will have your best interests at heart, be open to communication, and actively listen to you. Even if he’s aggressive during intimacy, in a way that you’ve both consented to, he’ll never get angry if you tell him “no. " [10] X Research source Signs of a bad or fake dominant include anyone who tries to intimidate you, gets very sexual right away or uses pet names before you’ve started dating and gotten comfortable with each other. [11] X Research source When a dominant/submissive relationship is handled with care and respect, it’s as healthy as any traditional relationship.
You’re not obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
