If they show up unannounced say something like, “Hi! I’d love to catch up but wish you’d let me know beforehand. I’m not free today. ” If they’re asking to stay at your house try, “I’m sorry, but we can’t host right now” or “Unfortunately, it won’t work for us to host. ” If they invite themselves along to an event tell them, “We’d really like to spend time with just our family. I’ll let you know when we do this again. ”
“I can’t host you while you’re in town, but could we get lunch that weekend?” “Today doesn’t work for me to hang out, but how about tomorrow?” “I was hoping for some time alone with Trevor, but would you like to come out with us on Friday?”
“Hey! It’s nice to see you, but I’d appreciate a phone call next time. ” “I’m happy to get together with you, but I’d like to know earlier in the day if you plan to stop by. ” “Things have been so hectic lately, I generally can’t hang out unless we arrange it ahead of time. " “I know you enjoy coming over here and I really enjoy seeing you, but I just don’t like people dropping in. In the future, I’d like it if you called ahead of time to see if I’m available. ”
Try saying something like this, “Here’s what we were thinking. You could come in on Monday, we can go to the beach and show you downtown, and then you can head out on Wednesday before we have to take TJ to camp. How does that sound?”
Say something like, “I’ve loved getting to see you, but I’ll be taking a break from hosting so I can recharge. ”
“I’ve been feeling pretty drained lately and need to take some ‘me time. ’ Could we stop meeting up at my house?” “I love eating dinner with you, but I like to stick to my routines. Could we plan our dinners in the future?” “I’m really grateful for your friendship, but I need more time to myself, so I won’t be able to hang out as much. ”
Tell them you need time away from your relationship: “I’ve been feeling stressed lately, so I’m taking time for myself. I don’t want to text or get together for a while. ” Use an “I feel” statement to tell them how their behavior hurt you: “I feel uncomfortable when you show up unannounced, and I’d like to step back from spending time together. ” Try a short, direct statement for someone who won’t take the hint: “I can’t spend time around someone who won’t respect my boundaries. I don’t want to see you anymore. ”
First, validate how they feel, “I know this isn’t what you expected and I know you’re disappointed. ” Then, find a place to agree with part of what they’ve said, “I wish we could spend more time together, too. ”[10] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
How you feel and what you need is important. If you’re constantly bending your own needs to accommodate others, you can lose sleep, get angry or upset, and end up feeling drained. [12] X Research source
For instance, you might like the person who drops in but get stressed out when they start to unload all their negativity onto you. You might love hosting your family for the holidays but prefer that they stay out of the kitchen while you’re making dinner. You might really like spending time with your friend but get annoyed when she invites her boyfriend over, too.
