One of the prime reasons the industry hasn’t been driven out of the market is due to its loyal fanbase or smarks. They debate constantly on the internet on who should be pushed, who should be buried, who should leave for greener pastures, and who should be fired.
However, not all the smarks are the same. In other sports, the fans are distinguished on the basis of their loyalty to a particular country, player, or club. However, in professional wrestling, they are differentiated on the basis of the opinions they hold.
Here are 10 types of smarks in professional wrestling.
#10 The one who is engrossed in the past
The Attitude Era is credited, by many, as the best time to be a wrestling fan. WCW and WWE put their best foot forward and ensured the fans (read future smarks) had a great time no matter which show they tuned in to. Our first classification of smarks are born in this era and are unable to get out of it.
Instead of checking out the latest episode of Raw, SmackDown, Impact Wrestling, Lucha Underground, or World of Sport, they spend their free time exploring the internet for past videos. Even if they do check out the latest episodes, they compare it with that of their time and end up criticizing it.
Pros: There is a saying ‘Old is gold’ which fits aptly to the professional wrestling circle as well. These smarks have been following simulated combat for a long time and while arguing, you do realize that the best use of the time machine would be to go back in time and watch Raw and Nitro every Monday night.
Cons: The fact that they can’t get out of their time means that they are missing a lot of modern-day pro-wrestling and fail to understand its beauty. For them, their logic to loathe present-day wrestling will be circumscribed around the fact they aren’t taking place two or seven decades earlier which is absurd on its own.
#9 The one who follows a particular smark
There are a lot of smarks, or wrestling journalists rather, who work tirelessly for the benefit of the scripted sport. They are so engrossed in professional wrestling that they successfully predict the heel turns, the path a particular storyline would take, and even manage to get access to the backstage plans of the company.
But, we aren’t here to talk about them, are we? There are a lot of smarks who worship these journalists and form their perspectives branching out of them.
Pros: These journalists know more than us, and following their advice when you know nothing about a certain topic can be a wise choice indeed.
Cons: While they are 99% correct, they give out unacceptable opinions (like Dave Meltzer’s sexist remarks on the IIconics) sometimes. These smarks would adhere to their views even then.
#8 The one who admires certain promotions secretly
WWE might not be the favorite promotion for a lot of smarks. It is okay as long as you criticize it, but don’t idolize it secretly. However, these people do the exact same thing.
These smarks show off their collection of Kenny Omega posters to their friends and boast how they are a big fan of him. However, once they are off, they secretly play with John Cena’s action figures. And in the worst case, they might not have even watched a single match of NJPW, or even subscribed to NJPW World.
Pros: They are simply a bunch of hypocrites and have no pros whatsoever. The moment you expose them, stop discussing wrestling with them.
Cons: The author can rant ten slides on it. Do you really want him to do that?
#7 The one who only reads reviews and watches highlights
It is next to impossible to watch all the professional wrestling promotions taking place across the globe. Although there are certain people who do it and take it up as a career, it is wise to read reviews and watch highlights and form the opinions around it sometimes. However, these smarks are extremely busy people and can’t even sit an hour, forget about three.
Pros: They have a fair idea of each and every development in the pro-wrestling world. If you are thinking of watching a new promotion, please resort to them first.
Cons: These people miss the finer aspects of professional wrestling which can only be comprehended if one watches the full show without blinking an eye. Discussing those facets of pro-wrestling with them would be like talking to a brick wall.
#6 The one who swims against the tide
The internet is filled with unpopular opinions, and these smarks are the torchbearers. It is not wrong to hold unpopular opinions. The author, for instance, believes that Jay White is an overrated Kiwi who isn’t yet ready to step into the main event scene. However, these smarks’ brains function in such a manner that they form unpopular opinions only.
Even if there are two clear sides for a debate to choose from, they would carve their way out for a third one.
Pros: A lot of smarks follow a certain opinion just because the masses follow it blindly. These smarks do the rightful job of showing them the mirror.
Cons: They form unpopular opinions just because they think it is unique. Even if you oppose their claims and back it up with logical reasoning, they wouldn’t retreat from it.
#5 The one who sees positivity in everything
It is easy to criticize a lot of things instead of appreciating their art. Unlike a lot of segments and matches, which fall on the grey area and end up being condemned, these smarks cherish it.
There are certain debatable topics in wrestling, such as whether the Undertaker should hang up his boots or continue wrestling. These smarks find optimism in both the sides of the coin and would tell different tales to different people. While we are not tagging them as hypocrites, they take extreme measures sometimes just to calm down the negativity in others’ lives.
Pros: At a time when professional wrestling is filled to the brim with negativity, they do the needed job of injecting positivity in the social media discussion threads.
Cons: You can’t see positivity in the Katie Vick or Lita’s miscarriage storyline, can you? But they might be the favorite storylines of these people.
#4 The one who watches promotions no one else watches
While a majority of people are confined to the big house promotions, they tend to ignore the art of PWG and CZW. But these smarks watch it whole-heartedly.
Their love of watching smaller promotions doesn’t end there. Just ask them what is happening in the British and Mexican independent scene, they would come up with a detailed analysis of each and every promotion with their pros and cons.
Pros: There are a lot of prolific wrestlers in the independent circuit who would have gone unnoticed if these people didn’t exist.
Cons: They miss a lot of things by ignoring the glamorous and glitzy worlds of WWE, NJPW, Impact Wrestling et al. What they fail to realize is that the wrestlers making it big in the gloomy promotions are yet to reach their prime. And, when they do so and make it to the corporate juggernauts, they disregard it altogether.
#3 The one who always has a problem
As mentioned previously, professional wrestling is overflowing with pessimism. These people are the prime reasons why it is so. They constantly oppose other smarks, not because they hold unpopular opinions, but because they think it is cool.
Let’s take the recent example of Shawn Michaels coming out of retirement. Had he not come out of retirement, they would have whined as to how they teased it beautifully and it not coming into fruition bursting it all. And now, as he has come out of retirement, they complain about how they have ruined one of the greatest retirements to ever take place in the pro-wrestling world.
Pros: Sticking your nose in every matter isn’t a good trait. While they do highlight certain problems which go unnoticed, it is better to stay away from these smarks.
Cons: Who, in their sane minds, can have a problem with Cody’s run in the independent circuit? These smarks do.
#2 The one who is only a fan of a particular show or brand
Let’s admit it! If you aren’t Dave Meltzer, Bryan Alvarez, or Mike Johnson, there is no way you are watching three hours of Raw, two hours of SmackDown and Impact Wrestling, an hour of Cruiserweight, NXT, Lucha Underground, and World of Sport week in and week out. While we tend to shuffle our loyalty from one brand to another, they are devoted and confined to a particular show or brand.
Pros: Keeping a tab on all the promotions is extremely difficult. So, a lot of people end up watching the main event or only important matches and segments. These smarks follow an entire promotion religiously and are one of the reasons for its success.
Cons: Like the one who is engrossed in the past and the one who watches promotions no one else watches, these smarks miss a lot of good modern-day pro-wrestling.
#1 The one who doesn’t listen to any other smarks
Much like Vince McMahon, who doesn’t care what other people are debating on the internet, these smarks don’t listen to them either. They like to keep their opinions to themselves and not disclose them.
While there is no harm in doing so, they miss out on the real fun of pro-wrestling as a fan by not discussing it with others.
Pros: Their opinions are 100% original although you might never know about them.
Cons: They live in their own world, and discussing wrestling with them can be a cumbersome task as they would turn a deaf ear to you nonetheless.
Do post in the comments section which type of smark you are. And, if you fall in the first category, sorry to bother you.
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