But how do you navigate the world of dating apps? Especially so if you’re a first-time user and haven’t a clue. Well, here are some tips to help dating app beginners.
1. Find the Right App
Picking the right app(s) to use is crucial for the best possibility of success. You have to know which ones best suit you, and for that, you need to be aware of what each is known for in the dating-sphere.
For example, if you’re a woman who’d prefer to make the first step and initiate the conversation, go with Bumble—women have to message first on that app. Bumble works using this unique chat setup, so you’re bound to find some good matches using it. You can also find apps that cater to specific dating pool preferences. Apps like HER and Grindr are for the LGBTQ+ crowd, Stir is for parents looking to date, and BLK is a dating app for Black singles. There are even dating apps for seniors—you can find a match at any age.
Of course, dating apps generally have boxes you can tick or fill in to specify what you’re looking for in a partner. Hinge introduced a dedicated Dating Intentions feature where you can specify what type of relationship you want at the moment.
The bottom line is, everything will go much smoother and easier for both you and your matches if you’re all on the same page from the get-go. Having preferences is not a bad thing. Ensuring you find the right app will save you a ton of wasted time and energy sorting through matches.
2. Know What You Want
Working off the previous point, you must know what you’re looking for in a relationship before you join any dating apps. And, until you do and can confidently say what you want, it’s best to avoid them.
It’s one of the first serious questions people ask on dating apps, and sometimes you have to answer it while creating the profile itself. Be honest with yourself and wait until you know for sure what type of relationship you’re open to, as that saves you much grief and helps you not to waste your or others’ time.
3. A Good Profile Is Key
Creating a good dating profile is half the battle of online dating. It has to show the best parts of you without being embellished or overly polished.
The best thing you can do is be authentic. Answer the questions honestly and attach pictures that best represent you and your personality. Don’t use overly filtered photos or photos of your trip to Italy when you visited there seven years ago.
As corny as it sounds, be yourself—not a polished online version, but your actual genuine self.
4. Avoid the Fake Persona
A mistake many people make while online dating is outright inventing new personas when creating dating profiles. For example, if you’ve never gone hiking in your life, don’t say you like to do it on your dating profile simply because it seems that everyone else has included it in theirs.
Unless you plan to keep your relationships entirely online, remember that you will eventually meet the people you’re talking to, or at least that’s what most dating app users expect. And, what if your respective match proposes a hike for a meet-up activity, noting that it’s something you both have in common?
Don’t back yourself into a corner, and stay authentic. With how much fakery exists online, most dating app users are looking for real people, so be one. Plus, most people have learned to spot the fake profiles lurking on dating apps.
5. Decide How Much You Want to Show Online
Given how easy it’s become to find people online with a few keystrokes, decide how much you’re willing to share before even creating your profile. Protecting your privacy while online dating is crucial.
Don’t upload images that show easily trackable information, like a landmark seen from your balcony indicating where you live; or a photo of you with a name tag showing your place of employment. Unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps online, so be wary of what you share. Not to mention the dating app scammers just looking for the right opportunity to strike and swindle you.
6. Shop Around
Don’t be afraid of talking to multiple people on multiple apps simultaneously. Matching with someone on a dating app is not the same as being in a committed relationship with them. You’re free to talk to multiple people at the same time.
Maintaining several conversations at once means if one match turns out to be a flop, you haven’t wasted days, weeks, or months only giving them your attention. It’s a great way to weed your matches.
7. Learn to Let Go
If you’re on a dating app, you’re bound to face rejection, so learn to accept it and move on with no fuss.
You’re not going to fit everyone’s preferences, so there will be days when you won’t have new matches. Some conversations may reach a point where they stall, and it’s not uncommon to get ghosted by your matches out of the blue.
Rejection is part of offline and online dating, so the sooner you accept it as a normal and expected part of your app experience, the better.
8. Don’t Get Too Caught Up in ‘Rules’
A simple search online will uncover countless dating experts that offer up tons of rules about online dating. There’s advice on everything, starting from creating the right profile and using the right images to the best opening lines for starting a conversation, and so on.
You don’t need ’expert’ advice, though, because here’s the thing: although many of these supposed experts make some good points, you don’t have to take their words as law. For example, many experts admonish people who share funny images intended to make you laugh on their dating app profiles, claiming it shows you don’t have serious intentions.
But if you’re a funny person who likes to joke around and make people laugh, those images will attract a person with the same sense of humor who likes to laugh. And, isn’t that the point? To show your true self and find someone who finds that attractive?
Don’t get too wrapped up in expert advice, and do whatever feels right.
9. Only Do Things You’re Comfortable With
Online dating is a constant back and forth with people exchanging information about themselves, what they’re looking for in a partner, their hopes for the future, etc. And since the conversation happens through a screen, many people lose their inhibitions and sometimes ask inappropriate questions or become too pushy.
Always remember that you don’t have to share information if you’re not comfortable doing so. You also don’t owe your matches a meet-up, a call or anything else unless it feels right to you. Don’t let anyone push you where you’re not ready to go and do things at your own pace.
10. Have Patience
As with offline dating, online dating takes time. You’re bound to meet some people that will make you regret every decision you’ve made until this point and have you doubt you’ll ever meet someone you like. But that’s just one part of the dating app experience. Many users agree that online dating sucks for all parties involved.
You have to accept that you’re likely to meet dozens of unpleasant characters until you find some nice ones. And, even then, you might only have a friendly relationship that doesn’t progress further. So be patient and give it time. Then, who knows, your next match might prove the best one.
Keep Your Eyes Open for Red Flags
Online dating is an easy and convenient way to meet new people and develop new relationships, be they friendly or romantic. But with the rise in popularity of dating through apps, there are countless scammers looking to make a buck off your naivety; people who refuse to accept no means no and keep bugging you; and people who don’t know what they want and keep wasting your time.
Dating apps are a mixed bag of good and bad. So before you dive headfirst into online dating, you better learn how to catch the signs of who you’re dealing with and spot the red flags. If you ignore or miss them, you’re sure to regret it.
